I pledge to keep fighting

I'm not going to lie, I was in a pretty dark place this week. Not because of the president's impeachment and acquittal. That played out pretty much exactly as expected. Not because of the horrific debacle in Iowa, although that most certainly didn't help. No, I was in a dark place because I felt like Trumpism had won. I felt like Trumpism had won because I reached a point where I said to myself, "I don't care anymore." I don't care what happens to other people. I don't care what happens to the country or the planet. Whatever is going to happen will happen and I'll just look out for myself and my family. See what I mean? Dark.

I was at my son's school this morning to listen to the 2nd grade perform a song about being a good citizen. Before the performance everyone stood to say the Pledge of Allegiance. As I stood there with my hand on my heart, reciting those words I've said a thousand times before, I thought about what the words really mean. What does it mean to pledge your allegiance to the flag, to the country. To the Republic for which it stands? What's expected of me? What does it take to be a good citizen? Just asking those questions jolted me out of my dark place and lifted the fog that I hadn't been able to see through.

The purpose of Trumpism is to get people to not care. I don't mean that in the sense that Donald Trump came up with a plan and bullet item number one was: Get people to not care. I mean it in the sense that whatever ambitions are driving Donald Trump are aided and abetted by people not caring. It's an invisible force that gives him the power to do pretty much whatever he wants and get away with it. Donald Trump's greatest insight was that the two party political system, with its extreme partisanship and tribalism, was ripe for exploitation. And his greatest skill, the one that he's used throughout his life, is his ability to find vulnerabilities and exploit them. He was uniquely qualified for the job.

For Trumpism to work, all Donald Trump has to do is convince a slim majority of the voting public that they are on the winning side. You can see this attitude in everything he does, but it was at its most brazen display in the State of the Union speech. It was filled with feel-good moments of theater that were meant to convey the idea that his base was on the winning side. See this soldier reunited with his family? See this African American girl getting a scholarship? See this talk radio host you've been listening to for years get a Medal of Freedom? We did it! We won! When you're on the winning side, the details don't really matter. It doesn't really matter if the Trump administration is actively trying to take away those pre-existing condition benefits that he just touted. It doesn't really matter if he referred to troops getting traumatic brain injuries as having "headaches... Not very serious". All that matters is winning.

There's an axiom in sales that perception is reality. Donald Trump is a salesman at his core and he's very good at managing perception. He's demonstrated that ability skillfully during his presidency, particularly with regard to the trade war with China and its effect on the stock market. Every time a bad headline was written or doubts about his ability to negotiate a "good deal" with China crept in, he would send out a tweet about "Making good progress!" or "Phase one agreement has been reached!". Sure, maybe it was just an agreement to reach an agreement, but those are just details. Stock traders called it a "Trump put" which just means that you don't have to worry about the market going down, because Trump will step in and tweet something positive to keep it going up! Ordinarily that would be something that the SEC would frown upon, but you know, it's OK as long as we're winning! I've never seen so many headlines from Wall Street that had the word "hope" in them. Maybe Trump is the real hope and change president.

I'm an engineer. It's what I do for a living, but it's also in my bones. I've always loved science, and though my career path took me away from science, I don't see engineering and science as being all that different. In both engineering and science you have to build a model in your mind of how a system works, and then come up with ways to test that system. To prove or disprove that you correctly understand that system. Some of the most humbling moments of my career have come when I've been 100% certain that I understand how a system works, only to be told that there's a new piece of data that contradicts my understanding. It's a very hard thing to process, especially when you've already told all the higher ups, "Don't worry! I've got this thing figured out!" In engineering, as in science, complete certainty does not rule out the possibility that you're still wrong. Perception is not reality. Reality is reality, and sometimes reality punches you in the face.

When I stood, pledging my allegiance to the flag this morning, I also made a pledge to myself. I pledge to keep fighting. I pledge to keep educating myself about the world and how it works. I pledge to keep supporting the causes I believe in. I pledge to make the world a place that gives everyone the opportunities that I've had. I pledge to fight for life, liberty, and the American way. I pledge to fight for these things because they are under attack, and we are the only ones who will save them.